Warm the Globe; or, Thaw Yourself Out

It's early in the morning as I type this, and there's frost on the roofs of our vehicles. In mid-April. In Mississippi. Where's global warming when you need it?

Actually, I say, Bring on global warming! This country, along with other parts of the world, could use a more subtropical climate. It's good for the body and soul. Why do you think so many Yankees keep moving down here?

To quote the late, great Lewis Grizzard: "I certainly understand why somebody from the land of freeze and squeeze would want to seek asylum here." As can I. How anyone can stand to live in a place like New York or Maine or Chicago – Grizzard lived in the latter city for a short while, and hated it – where you have to thaw out your car and your brain each morning? Who wants to run up their heating bill in May? I was in St. Louis on July 4 one year for a night baseball game – my first date with the woman who's now my wife – and I had to borrow a sweatshirt to keep from freezing my grits off.

Sure, the summers down here can be tough, if you're not used to them. That's why God gave us air conditioning and cold water. And how many places up North can you play golf in February?

I could go on, but the biscuits are almost done. To quote Grizzard once more: "I'm American by birth, but I'm Southern by the grace of God."

Today's Redneck Moment: I believe quoting Grizzard qualifies, thank you.